Dropped a pound. I'm now down to 151 - so i can stop stressing about staying the same! Did a ton of exercise yesterday to get rid of the 9 rice cakes. Tomorrow I'm going to fast to get myself down to my target of 149 by Wednesday morning, today I'm just going to keep under 300 calories I guess, and burn it all off before I go to bed.
Yesterday was productive - Managed to do loads of work until midnight and then still went to the gym afterwards. I know its boring, but thats pretty much how my life needs to be for the next 2 weeks until exams are over. i'm already stressing because everyone started revising like a month ago - and as per usual, i left it last minute and started yesterday. If I can keep up this routine, I'll be very impressed with myself.
This week I've been a lot stronger than I ever thought I could be. Girls, I think we completely underestimate our willpower. A few months ago my binges were at their worst - and I'd stopped purging, I literally have no idea what caused it but I feel sick when I think how much I used to eat. I'm so glad I've overcome that in the last 2 months.
As i previously mentioned in my first blog.. my ex boyfriend. So, he's just got a new girlfriend... and i just don't know how to feel about it. He was the one that somehow made me feel so wanted I didn't have to be bulimic, and the only one that knew about it.... but then he was also the one that when we broke up turned me into an absolute emotional binger. I guess I've always had the control over the relationship - even though he's had complete control over my emotions.. and now I know longer have control, he has it all. I feel like he's won in a way. Weird.
S
You obviously loved him, there will always be confusing feelings there, but don't mix up love with old feelings, there will always be feelings there because you opened up to him and trusted him, but you have moved on :) You'll find someone new soon enough beautiful! Well done on the loss :D Keep going strong! x
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